Grieving secondary losses
Where the death of a loved one is considered the primary loss, experiences that flow from that death are called secondary losses. “Secondary” means that these losses come as a result of the death, not that they are any less impactful or less difficult.
What are some secondary losses you've experienced?
I had to learn that it wasn't so much that I was grieving my husband being gone because with my faith I understood that he was in a better place and that he was in a place, so he was not going to be in any pain anymore and that was good.
So my grief was all about the secondary losses. Missing someone in your bed. Missing someone to talk with. Missing someone to make food for. Missing someone to drive you around. You miss the person that is gone. You do. You miss them almost every day. But that's different than a secondary loss. A secondary loss are the little things that you once had. So secondary losses are, to me, what has hurt the most for me because I've had to redesign and get almost a new life now.