Grief is _________
Grief is like a volume switch. In the very beginning, it’s very loud. It’s almost so loud that you can’t remember if you’ve eaten, you can’t remember if you’ve showered, you are just—things in life that were so common and regular, you won’t remember.
Over time, your grief volume, you work on ways to lower it and you try to keep it at a manageable volume. And I think in the first few years, it remains very—it remains high. Although it lowers enough that you remember to eat, you remember when you need to shower. You might not remember to lock the car or you might leave your wallet laying out for someone to take in an open car. But, the more sort of critical functions, you know, the basic functions: eating, sleeping, remembering where your children are. They become easier.
I think it is a lifelong switch that is turned on and depending on the activities or the anniversaries, it’s a volume that can go very high again and spike and you work on ways to try to reduce its volume.