Grieving a less than perfect relationship
Relationships can be tricky. We can have conflicting emotions about the person who died, and that is OK. What ever you are feeling is OK.
Humans are complex. We don’t always have these idyllic, perfect relationships. When that person dies, I think we put this rosy spin on things that like, “Oh, here’s this, like, everything becomes beautiful after death …” No! Everything stays complicated. Everything stays messy. Because, that’s what humans are.
So, you can be very, very sad that your mom died and not really have enjoyed spending time with your mom when she was alive.
We can have conflicting emotions in death, after death, as we live forward grieving that person the same way that we have complex and messy relationships out in the world.”