Ron’s daughter, Lily, died when she was nine. Her death challenged each member of the family in different ways. Ron has since become involved with The Compassionate Friends and finds comfort in working with other grieving parents.
We called her Miss Lilly. She was a spark of life. One of her teachers said there are souls in the world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere, and of leaving it behind them when they go. And, and really that was what she was. Just a joyful little bundle.
Even though she had such struggles, she had such terrible struggles, throughout her short life, she still had a spirit and all that was really remarkable.
There’s the the old stand standard assumption that, you know, by a year you should over it. Anytime people see still suffering or anxious, then, especially after a year they’re thinking, &;dquo;Well, what’s going on there?”
You lose a support of uh the rest of the world. The rest of the world does not understand why you’re still suffering.
I was 50 when Lily died, um, 55 when I'm going through the early stages, but I bet it’s going to be another fifteen years. I don’t know how many years I’ve got left. (laughs) I might be grieving the rest of my life and I probably will be, you know?
You think about the world in a different way after losing somebody that you love. When you think about the things that are missing from your world, there’s a whole lifetime full of memories that you never get to have, You never stop thinking, uh, “Goodness me I wish Lily was here to see this.” You know, and you always think about your life as being like before and after the event when, before she died and after she died. I don’t know, maybe you’ll get to that point where you don’t think that way. But for me, after seven years, I’ve not reached that way.