Becky and Steve Bolich’s son and Megan’s brother, Nate was killed in a car accident in 2017. In the weeks and months that followed his passing, they became keenly aware that while well intended, most people don’t know how to interact with people who have recently dealt with the loss of a loved one.
Megan: My brother.
Steve: My son.
Becky: My son.
Steve: Nate was a kindhearted, gentle-spirited type of guy. He was always incredibly respectful.
Becky: He just was a unique kid. He was a caregiver. He loved me. He was my boy.
Megan: He loved music so much but he also then had a completely different side to him where he loved the country and the outdoors and fishing and hard work. I think the biggest thing I miss is just the ability to have my big brother around to be able to call and say hey this is what’s going on.
It has affected our family a lot. We all deal with it differently and at different times and I’m thankful because if we were all dealing with it at the same time I feel like our family would fall apart. It’s usually just one person and we all just take a step back and try to figure out ok this is what that person’s going through and accept that some days they are having a bad day and taking anger and understanding that they might not be mad at you, it’s really grief.
Becky: As a mom, Megan has been my biggest concern. Megan lost her best friend, she lost her brother who was always there. I feel like I watch her from a perspective of “is she ok?” Is this just a normal teenage situation or is she grieving? I second-guess myself a lot with raising Megan now.
Steve: We spent a lot of time together. We talked a lot. Cried a lot, together. I guess one surprising part would be just the fact that life didn’t end when Nate died. It keeps going.
Becky: I felt like we had to get the attention off of us, and to help other people. We’re going to be leaving and we’re going to moving into that boarding school and we’re going to be house parents to disadvantaged children.
Steve: It’s a big change I mean once you have your family and you have your job, there’s not a whole lot of new beginnings for you or for you and your spouse. You're locked in. The new beginnings are things that are happening with your kids and everything else and this is like a new beginning for... us. There’s a nervous excitement to that.
Megan: It took me until a few months ago to realize that grief never quite ends. It’s still a pretty big part of my life and I think I’m starting to wrap my head around the thought that it will always be a part of my life. It’s just getting better at handling it and dealing with it whenever it does pop up.